Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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