I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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