Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
