Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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