You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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