Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
