like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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