i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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