watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Ladies don't puke and tell
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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