We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
