i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
