I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
