By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
