I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
