He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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