im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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