somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
