I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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