let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
