your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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