we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
