I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
