Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
