Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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