So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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