So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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