Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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