I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
