Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
MIDGETS
????
Randomize
