She is in my trunk
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
