no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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