you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
