I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
