woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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