Cold hands, warm shart.
You really coming over, don't trick.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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