he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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