yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
