i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
