Where did you get a picture of my penis
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
