how can u be prego again
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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