I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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