I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
