Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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