true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
