I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
