I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
