Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
