Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
