rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
