so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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