Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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